my book of absurd letters to british football clubs

the home of struan j. marjoribanks

Archive for the category “Football”

Book featured in Daily Record today!

Good evening,

My book was the subject of a fantastic centrefold feature in today’s Daily Record. The goals behind me in the photo are at my primary school and from what I remember were the scene of me realising that I was really pretty rubbishy at football. Thanks to the Record and Paul English (journalist) for the great feature and great exposure for my book. As you may well now know, copies of the book can be bought at with £1 of every sale going to a fantastic charity (full details on the site).

I would just like to say a massive thanks to everyone who has supported the book so far – it is very much appreciated!


Daily Record Spread


Excerpts from the book

Here is one of the chains of letters from the book – this was Struan’s correspondence with Hearts regarding the mysterious Hearts goalkeeper of the 1930s who his dear old Auntie Jessie spoke so fondly of…

We really do appreciate your support and would be very grateful if you decided to buy the book. We want people to have a laugh reading the book, but it is also hoped that the book can do some good, and that is why Eat the Breed are donating £1 of every sale to a great charity – one of which is the fantastic Tartan Army Children’s Charity (TACC). You can pick up a copy at Many thanks for reading and for your support.









Here is one of Struan’s 1986 Panini football sticker customisations (there are a number of these in the book)…

clydebank panini page


Sample copy of the book…

Hello nice blog-subscriber people,

I hope that you are all well. I’m writing this little post because I picked up a sample copy of the book on Friday.

For a while I have wondered how I would feel holding a copy of the book in my hands for the first time. I’ve heard people say it was a life-changing experience for them, and I wondered if I might burst into tears and sob for hours due to reaching the end of what has been an incredible journey of highs, lows, and then quite a few more lows.

I couldn’t get to the printers quickly enough when I heard the sample copy was ready.  Once there I ran and jumped my way down the stairs in much the same way that children come down stairs regardless of excitement (why are you always running children?). I entered the incredible heat and noise of the printers and my heart was thumping. The old man in the printers saw me enter and he handed the book to me. Very slowly I took the book from him. I looked at the book in my hands – my book. I looked up at the kindly old man’s face and we smiled at each other. ‘Looks good, thanks,’ I said. ‘Aye, it does,’ said the old man as I quickly flicked through the book. ‘My car’s on a meter out there, so that’s great you had it ready for me,’ I said. ‘So expensive at this time of day.’ The old man looked at me. ‘Aye, it is son,’ he said. And that was it really…

So here it is sitting on my breakfast bar:

front of sample book

Front (obvs)

back of sample book

Back (obvs)

As soon as the books are available to buy I will, of course, let you know. I’ve got some interesting free giveaways for people who buy a copy direct from the Eat the Breed store More details will follow, but I don’t want people getting over-excited…

Thanks for visiting and take care.


Promotional flyers for the book…

Here are some of @EatTheBreed1’s promotional flyers for the book as seen by next to nobody on Twitter:

old fans flyer

Two old guys dream about the book’s imminent release, or maybe they’re watching a fence being built by a man that they know…

Lennon Flyer

Neil Lennon had just resigned from his job as manager of Celtic (they’re in the book), so this was a topical one from Eat The Breed. Well done…

Farage crash final

Farage. UKIP. Some election or other. But look at the photo – the guy has just been in a helicopter crash and it has been caught on camera just how uncomfortable an experience that is…

The Banksy collection (sorry Banksy):


The classic Banksy ruined. Well done Eat the Breed…

Marjoribanksy flyer

Quite a simple and badly executed play on words/names…

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